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1、外語(yǔ)下載中心:down.外語(yǔ)下載中心:down.101101TheTheOneOneWhereWhereMonicaMonicaGetsGetsaNewNewRoommateRoommate101101TheTheOneOneWhereWhereMonicaMonicaGetsGetsaNewNewRoommateRoommate(The(ThePilotThePilotTheUncutUncutVersion)Version)[Sce

2、ne:[Scene:CentralCentralPerkPerkChlerChlerJoeyJoeyPhoebePhoebeMonicaMonicaarearethere.]there.]Monica:Monica:TheresTheresnothingnothingtototell!tell!HesHesjustjustsomesomeguyguyIwkwkwith!with!Joey:Joey:ComeComeononyoureyo

3、uregoinggoingoutoutwithwiththetheguy!guy!TheresTheresgottagottabebesomethingsomethingwrongwrongwithwithhim!him!Chler:Chler:AllAllrightrightJoeyJoeybebenice.nice.SoSodoesdoeshehehavehaveahumphumpAhumphumpahairpiecehairpie

4、cePhoebe:Phoebe:WaitWaitdoesdoesheheeateatchalkchalk(They(Theyallallstarestarebemusedbemused.).)Phoebe:Phoebe:JustJustcausecauseIdontdontwantwantherhertotogogothroughthroughwhatwhatIwentwentthroughthroughwithwithCarlCarl

5、oh!oh!Monica:Monica:OkayOkayeverybodyeverybodyrelax.relax.ThisThisisisnotnotevenevenadate.date.ItsItsjustjusttwotwopeoplepeoplegoinggoingoutouttotodinnerdinnernotnothavinghavingsex.sex.Chler:Chler:SoundsSoundslikelikeada

6、tedatetotome.me.[Time[TimeLapse]Lapse]Chler:Chler:AlrightAlrightsosoImImbackbackininhighhighschoolschoolImImstingstingininthethedledleofofthethecafeteriacafeteriaIrealizerealizeIamamtotallytotallynakednaked.All:All:OhOhy

7、eah.yeah.HadHadthatthatdream.dream.Chler:Chler:ThenThenIlooklookdowndownIrealizerealizetherestheresaphone...phone...there.there.Joey:Joey:InsteadInsteadof...of...Chler:Chler:ThatsThatsright.right.Joey:Joey:NeverNeverhadh

8、adthatthatdream.dream.Phoebe:Phoebe:No.No.Chler:Chler:AllAllofofasuddensuddenthethephonephonestartsstartstotoring.ring.NowNowIdontdontknowknowwhatwhattotododoeverybodyeverybodystartsstartslookinglookingatatme.me.Monica:M

9、onica:theytheywerentwerentlookinglookingatatyouyoubefe!befe!Chler:Chler:FinallyFinallyIfigurefigureIdIdbetterbetteransweranswerititititturnsturnsoutoutitsitsmymymothermotherwhichwhichisisveryveryveryveryweirdweirdbecause

10、becausesheshenevernevercallscallsme!me![TimeTimeLapseLapseRossRosshashasentered.]entered.]Ross:Ross:(mtifiedmtified)Hi.Hi.Joey:Joey:ThisThisguyguysayssayshellohelloIwannawannakillkillmyself.myself.Monica:Monica:AreAreyou

11、youokayokaysweetiesweetieRoss:Ross:Ijustjustfeelfeellikelikesomeonesomeonereachedreacheddowndownmymythroatthroatgrabbedgrabbedmymysmallsmallintestineintestinepulledpulledititoutoutofofmymymouthmouthtiedtiedititaroundarou

12、ndmymyneck...neck...Chler:Chler:CookieCookie101101試播試播沒(méi)什么好說(shuō)的!他不過(guò)是我的同事!沒(méi)什么好說(shuō)的!他不過(guò)是我的同事!少來(lái)了,你和那個(gè)人一起出去!拜托,少來(lái)了,你和那個(gè)人一起出去!拜托,和你交往的男人一定有問(wèn)題!和你交往的男人一定有問(wèn)題!打住,喬伊,嘴下留德。他駝背?既駝打住,喬伊,嘴下留德。他駝背?既駝背又帶假發(fā)?背又帶假發(fā)?慢著,他吃粉筆嗎?慢著,他吃粉筆嗎?我只是不想你重蹈我和

13、卡爾的覆轍。我只是不想你重蹈我和卡爾的覆轍。各位別急,這不算約會(huì)。我們不過(guò)是出各位別急,這不算約會(huì)。我們不過(guò)是出去吃晚餐,而且不做愛(ài)。去吃晚餐,而且不做愛(ài)。聽(tīng)起來(lái)好像是說(shuō)我的約會(huì)。聽(tīng)起來(lái)好像是說(shuō)我的約會(huì)。記得中學(xué)時(shí)代的夢(mèng),我站在自助餐廳,記得中學(xué)時(shí)代的夢(mèng),我站在自助餐廳,突然發(fā)現(xiàn)自己全身赤裸。突然發(fā)現(xiàn)自己全身赤裸。我做過(guò)那樣的夢(mèng)。我做過(guò)那樣的夢(mèng)。我低頭一看,看見(jiàn)有一支電話我低頭一看,看見(jiàn)有一支電話…………在那在那兒。兒。而不是而不是……

14、……?沒(méi)錯(cuò)。沒(méi)錯(cuò)。我沒(méi)做過(guò)那樣的夢(mèng)我沒(méi)做過(guò)那樣的夢(mèng)沒(méi)有。沒(méi)有。那支電話突然響起,而我不知道怎么辦,那支電話突然響起,而我不知道怎么辦,每個(gè)人都開(kāi)始望著我。每個(gè)人都開(kāi)始望著我。他們以前不看你嗎?!他們以前不看你嗎?!終于,我認(rèn)為我應(yīng)該接,結(jié)果是我媽打終于,我認(rèn)為我應(yīng)該接,結(jié)果是我媽打來(lái),我感到很奇怪,因?yàn)槲覌尣辉蜻^(guò)來(lái),我感到很奇怪,因?yàn)槲覌尣辉蜻^(guò)電話給我!電話給我!嗨。嗨。這家伙向我打招呼時(shí)我就想自殺。這家伙向我打招呼時(shí)我就想自殺。你

15、還好吧?你還好吧?我感覺(jué)有人把手伸入我的喉嚨,抓起我我感覺(jué)有人把手伸入我的喉嚨,抓起我的腸子,從我的口中取出,然后綁在我的腸子,從我的口中取出,然后綁在我脖上脖上…………餅干?餅干?卡羅今天把她的東西搬走了。卡羅今天把她的東西搬走了。我?guī)湍闩荼Х?,我?guī)湍闩荼Х?,外語(yǔ)下載中心:down.外語(yǔ)下載中心:down.Rachel:Rachel:HiHisure!sure!Ross:Ross:Hi.Hi.(They(Theygogototoh

16、ughugbutbutRosssRosssumbrellaumbrellaopens.opens.HeHesitssitsbackbackdowndowndefeateddefeatedagain.again.AmomentmomentofofsilencesilencefollowsfollowsasasRachelRachelsitssitsthetheothersothersexpectexpectherhertotoexplai

17、n.)explain.)Monica:Monica:SoSoyouyouwannawannatelltellususnownowarearewewewaitingwaitingfffourfourwetwetbridesmaidsbridesmaidsRachel:Rachel:OhOhGod...God...wellwellititstartedstartedaboutaboutahalfhalfhourhourbefebefethe

18、thewedding.wedding.IwaswasininthetheroomroomwherewherewewewerewerekeepingkeepingallallthethepresentspresentsIwaswaslookinglookingatatthisthisgravygravyboat.boat.ThisThisreallyreallyggeousggeousLamaugeLamaugegravygravyboa

19、t.boat.WhenWhenallallofofasuddensudden(to(tothethewaitresswaitressthatthatbroughtbroughtherhercoffee)coffee)SweetSweetnnLoLoIrealizedrealizedthatthatIwaswasmemeturnedturnedononbybythisthisgravygravyboatboatthanthanbybyBa

20、rry!Barry!thenthenIgotgotreallyreallyfreakedfreakedoutoutthatsthatswhenwhenitithithitme:me:howhowmuchmuchBarryBarrylookslookslikelikeMr.Mr.PotatoPotatoHead.Head.YknowYknowImeanmeanIalwaysalwaysknewknewlookedlookedfamilia

21、rfamiliarbut...but...AnywayAnywayIjustjusthadhadtotogetgetoutoutofoftherethereIstartedstartedwonderingwonderingWhyWhyamamIdoingdoingthisthiswhowhoamamIdoingdoingthisthisf.f.(to(toMonica)Monica)SoSoanywayanywayIjustjustdi

22、dntdidntknowknowwherewheretotogogoIknowknowthatthatyouyouIhavehavekindakindadrifteddriftedapartapartbutbutyoureyourethetheonlyonlypersonpersonIknewknewwhowholivedlivedherehereininthethecity.city.Monica:Monica:WhoWhowasnt

23、wasntinvitedinvitedtotothethewedding.wedding.Rachel:Rachel:OohOohIwaswaskindakindahopinghopingthatthatwouldntwouldntbebeananissue...issue...[Scene:[Scene:MonicasMonicasApartmentApartmenteveryoneeveryoneisistheretherewatc

24、hingwatchingaSpanishSpanishSoapSoapononTVTVarearetryingtryingtotofigurefigureoutoutwhatwhatisisgoinggoingon.]on.]Monica:Monica:NowNowImImguessingguessingthatthatheheboughtboughtherherthethebigbigpipepipeganganshesshesrea

25、llyreallynotnothappyhappyaboutaboutit.it.Chler:Chler:(imitatingimitatingthetheacters)acters)TunaTunaeggeggsaladsaladDecide!Decide!Ross:Ross:(in(inadeepdeepvoice)voice)IllIllhavehavewhateverwhateverChristineChristineisish

26、aving.having.Rachel:Rachel:(on(onphone)phone)DaddyDaddyIjust...just...Icantcantmarrymarryhim!him!ImImsry.sry.Ijustjustdontdontlovelovehim.him.WellWellititmattersmatterstotome!me!(The(ThescenesceneononTVTVhashaschangedcha

27、ngedtotoshowshowtwotwowomenwomenoneoneisisholdingholdingherherhair.)hair.)Phoebe:Phoebe:IfIfIletletgogoofofmymyhairhairmymyheadheadwillwillfallfalloffoff.Chler:Chler:(re(reTV)TV)OohOohshesheshouldshouldnotnotbebewearingw

28、earingthosethosepants.pants.Joey:Joey:Isaysaypushpushherherdowndownthethestairs.stairs.PhoebePhoebeRossRossChlerChlerJoey:Joey:PushPushherherdowndownthethestairs!stairs!PushPushherherdowndownthethestairs!stairs!PushPushh

29、erherdowndownthethestairs!stairs!(She(Sheisispushedpusheddowndownthethestairsstairseveryoneeveryonecheers.)cheers.)Rachel:Rachel:CmonCmonDaddyDaddylistenlistentotome!me!ItsItslikelikeitsitslikelikeallallofofmymylifelifee

30、veryoneeveryonehashasalwaysalwaystoldtoldmemeYoureYoureashoe!shoe!YoureYoureashoeshoeyoureyoureashoeshoeyoureyoureashoe!.shoe!.todaytodayIjustjuststoppedstoppedIsaidsaidWhatWhatififIdontdontwannawannabebeashoeshoeWhatWha

31、tififIwannawannabebeaaapursepurseyknowyknowaaahat!hat!NoNoImImnotnotsayingsayingIwantwantyouyou婚禮前半個(gè)小時(shí)發(fā)生了變數(shù)。我在堆放婚禮前半個(gè)小時(shí)發(fā)生了變數(shù)。我在堆放禮物的房間里,看著船形鹵肉盤(pán),非常禮物的房間里,看著船形鹵肉盤(pán),非常漂亮的船形鹵肉盤(pán),突然間漂亮的船形鹵肉盤(pán),突然間…………有沒(méi)有代糖?我了解船形鹵肉盤(pán)此巴瑞有沒(méi)有代糖?我了解船形鹵

32、肉盤(pán)此巴瑞更能引起我的更能引起我的“性趣性趣”,我自己都嚇了,我自己都嚇了一跳,一跳,巴瑞愈看愈像豬頭先生。我一直都認(rèn)為巴瑞愈看愈像豬頭先生。我一直都認(rèn)為他很眼熟??傊苎凼?。總之我必須離開(kāi)。我開(kāi)始想,我必須離開(kāi)。我開(kāi)始想,我為何這么做?我為誰(shuí)這樣做?于是我我為何這么做?我為誰(shuí)這樣做?于是我不知該走往何處,我知道你我日漸疏遠(yuǎn)。不知該走往何處,我知道你我日漸疏遠(yuǎn)。但是你是我在這個(gè)城市,認(rèn)識(shí)的唯一一但是你是我在這個(gè)城市,認(rèn)識(shí)的唯一一個(gè)人。

33、個(gè)人。好像是唯一沒(méi)受邀參加婚禮的人。好像是唯一沒(méi)受邀參加婚禮的人。這件事就甭提啦。這件事就甭提啦。我猜他送她一臺(tái)管風(fēng)琴,她肯定不喜歡,我猜他送她一臺(tái)管風(fēng)琴,她肯定不喜歡,金槍魚(yú)還是雞蛋沙拉?快決定!金槍魚(yú)還是雞蛋沙拉?快決定!我要擁有克莉絲汀擁有的一切。我要擁有克莉絲汀擁有的一切。爸,我不能嫁給他爸,我不能嫁給他…………對(duì)不起,我只是對(duì)不起,我只是不愛(ài)他。對(duì),是我的問(wèn)題!不愛(ài)他。對(duì),是我的問(wèn)題!如果我沒(méi)了頭發(fā),如果我沒(méi)了頭發(fā),還不如去死

34、。還不如去死。她不該穿那條褲子。她不該穿那條褲子。我建議推她下樓,我建議推她下樓,推她下樓!推她下樓!推她下樓!推她下樓!推她下樓!推她下樓!爸,你聽(tīng)我說(shuō)爸,你聽(tīng)我說(shuō)…………大家這樣評(píng)價(jià)我這一大家這樣評(píng)價(jià)我這一輩子:你是一只鞋輩子:你是一只鞋…………今天我倒想看看今天我倒想看看如果我不再是鞋會(huì)怎樣。我說(shuō)如果我想如果我不再是鞋會(huì)怎樣。我說(shuō)如果我想當(dāng)皮包呢?當(dāng)皮包呢?或是帽子呢?不,我不需你幫我買帽子。或是帽子呢?不,我不需你幫我買帽子。我

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