middle-aged crisis

1、中年危機(jī)也稱“灰色中年”一般高發(fā)在39至50歲的中年人身上。從廣義上來講“中年危機(jī)”指的是人們在中年這一人生階段在事業(yè)、健康、家庭婚姻等方面可能經(jīng)歷各種關(guān)卡和危機(jī)。大多數(shù)人到了中年都處于“上有老下有小”的生活局面得應(yīng)對家庭里和事業(yè)上遭遇的各種棘手問題壓力實(shí)在不小。下文講述的是美國女作家勞拉曼森的丈夫遭遇“中年危機(jī)”后他們之間出現(xiàn)的“中年情感危機(jī)”插曲從中可見兩人曲折的心路歷程。值得一提的是在走出“中年危機(jī)”困境之后曼森的丈夫鼓勵她把他們

2、的故事寫出來和大家分享于是曼森在《紐約時報(bào)》上講述了她的這段情感波折……Let’ssay（假想）youhavewhatyoubelievetobeahealthymarriage.You’restillfriendsloversafterspendingmethanhalfofyourlivestogether.Thedreamsyousetouttoachieveinyour20s—gazingintoeachother’seyesi

3、nclelitcitybistros（小咖啡館）whenyouweresingleskinny—havefthemostpartcometrue.Twodecadeslateryouhavethe20acresoflthefarmhousethechildrenthedogshses.You’retheparentsyousaidyouwouldbefullofloveguidance.You’vedoneitall:Disneylca

4、mpingHawaiiMexicocitylivingstargazing.Sureyouhaveyourmaritalissuesbutonthewholeyoufeelsoselfsatisfiedabouthowthingshavewkedoutthatyouwouldneverinyourwildestnightmaresthinkyouwouldhearthesewdsfromyourhusbonefinesummerday:

5、“Idon’tloveyouanyme.I’mnotsureIeverdid.I’mmovingout.Thekidswillunderst.They’llwantmetobehappy.”Hiswdscameatmelikeaspeedingfistlikeasucker（猛擊）punchyetsomehowinthatmomentIwasabletoduck.onceI’drecoveredcomposedmyselfImanage

6、dtosay“Idon’tbuyit.”Hedrewbackinsurprise.Apparentlyhe’dexpectedmetoburstintotearstorageathimtothreatenhimwithacustodybattle.beghimtochangehismind.Soheturnedmean.“Idon’tlikewhatyou’vebecome.”Gutwrenchingpause.Howcouldhesa

7、ysuchathingThatswhenIreallywantedtofight.Torage.Tocry.ButIdidn’t.InsteadashroudofcalmenvelopedmeIrepeatedthosewds:“Idon’tbuyit（=giveup）.”假設(shè)你擁有你認(rèn)為是健康的婚姻:在共度了半生之后你們?nèi)匀皇桥笥鸭皭廴恕?0多歲時——那時你們還單身身段苗條身處點(diǎn)著蠟燭的市區(qū)小餐館的你們凝望著彼此的眼睛——你們要實(shí)現(xiàn)的

8、夢想如今大部分都已實(shí)現(xiàn)了。二十年之后你擁有20英畝(80936平方米)土地、農(nóng)舍、孩子小狗及馬匹。你成為了你自己所說的那種父母——充滿愛意、循循善誘。下面這些你都經(jīng)歷過了:去迪斯尼樂園、去露營、去夏威夷和墨西哥度假、在城市里生活以及眺望星星。當(dāng)然你也有婚姻問題但是總體而言對所有事情的運(yùn)作你還是自我感覺良好以致就算是在最怪異的噩夢中你也不會想到在某個晴朗夏日你會從你丈夫口中聽到這些話:“我不再愛你了。我也不知道我是否曾經(jīng)愛過你。我要搬出去

9、。孩子們會理解的他們也想我過得快樂。”Wellhedidn’tmoveout.Insteadhespentthesummerbeingunreliable.Hestoppedcominghomeathisusualsixo’clock.Hewouldstayoutlatenotcall.HeblewoffourentireFourthofJuly—theparadethebarbecuethefirewks—togotosomeonee

10、lse’sparty.Whenhewasathomehewasdistant(冷漠的).Hewouldn’tlookmeintheeye.Hedidn’tevenwishme“HappyBirthday.”ButIdidn’tplayintoit.Iwalkedmyline.Itoldthekids:“Daddy’shavingahardtimeasadultsoftendo.Butwe’reafamilynomatterwhat.”M

11、ytrustedfriendswereirateonmybehalf.“HowcanyoujuststbyacceptthisbehaviKickhimout!Getalawyer!”Iwalkedmylinewiththemtoo.Thismanwashurtingyethisproblemwasn’tminetosolve.InfactIneededtogetoutofhiswaysohecouldsolveit.Privately

12、Idecidedtogivehimtime.Sixmonths.IhadgooddaysIhadbaddays.OnthegooddaysItookthehighroad(積極的，高姿態(tài)生活).Iignedhislashingouthismercilessjabs(猛刺).OnbaddaysIwouldfester(激起憤怒)intheAugustsunwhilethekidsranthroughsprinklersragingathi

13、minmymind.ButIneverwavered.Althoughitmaysoundridiculoustosay“Don’ttakeitpersonally”whenyourhusbtellsyouhenolongerlovesyousometimesthat’sexactlywhatyouhavetodo.噢他沒有搬出去。相反地他很不負(fù)責(zé)地度過了那個夏天。他不再像往常一樣6點(diǎn)回到家。他會夜歸并且不打電話回家。他推掉了我們七月四