六人英語搞笑劇本-孔雀東南飛

1、1六人英六人英語搞笑搞笑劇本孔雀孔雀東南飛Werseveryfivemiles焦仲卿Johnny(Jfsht)劉蘭芝Lunch(Lfsht)焦母Johnny’smother(JMfsht)劉母Lunch’smother(LMfsht)太守之子May’sson(MSfsht)強(qiáng)盜Burglars(ABC)(Johnny（焦仲卿）作被打狀跑上臺(tái)內(nèi)砸出一卷紙筒J被打中狼狽不堪)JohnnyJohnny（焦仲卿）（焦仲卿）:Everybodys

2、aysthatI’mhenpeckedbutinfactI’masstrongasatiger(小聲)whilemywifeisWuSong.(指著上臺(tái)處的門大聲道)I’mnotafraidofyou!(內(nèi)砸出一臉盆Johnny（焦仲卿）接住當(dāng)成盾牌護(hù)著頭)ThenI’mafraidofwhomMywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbhood.Sheisbraverthanmesmartert

3、hanmestrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetenderthanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!(內(nèi)又砸出一卷紙筒擊中Johnny（焦仲卿）)MyGod!Whocanhelpme(下)Act1(序幕結(jié)束時(shí)作竊聽狀)焦母（焦母（JMJM）(拄拐棍上):Ican!(對(duì)門內(nèi))Lunch!Lun

4、ch!Whereareyou劉蘭芝劉蘭芝LunchLunch(扎著圍裙拿著鍋鏟從門內(nèi)跳出來):I’mhere!What’supmum焦母（焦母（JMJM）:I’vetoldyouagainagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuldearestmotherinlaw”.劉蘭芝劉蘭芝LunchLunch:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefuldearestmotherin

5、lawwhat’sup焦母（焦母（JMJM）:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorudesobrusquesolazy……劉蘭芝劉蘭芝LunchLunch:But……焦母（焦母（JMJM）:Neverinterruptme!劉蘭芝劉蘭芝LunchLunch:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyoursonthatterribleJohn

6、nyIhavebeenwkinghardalldaylongcookingwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthoussofpigsduckschicken……焦母（焦母（JMJM）:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrson!劉蘭芝劉蘭芝LunchLunch(生氣地?fù)]動(dòng)著鍋鏟):Ohyouwantagrsondon’tyou(開始解圍裙)Goandaskyourson.

7、I’mleaving!(扯下圍裙扔在焦母（JM）的臉上下)Act2(焦母（JM）坐在臺(tái)上打毛線劉蘭芝Luch拿著鍋鏟上)劉蘭芝劉蘭芝(Luch)(Luch):MumI’mback!焦母（焦母（JMJM）:YouarebackWhyWhathappened劉蘭芝劉蘭芝(Luch)(Luch):Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefuldearestmother–inlaw.焦母（焦母（JMJM）(驚訝但隨

8、即露出幸災(zāi)樂禍的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!WhenyouinsistedonmarryingthatterribleJohnnyItoldyouthatheisuglystupidpobutyoudidnotlistentome.Lookatyourself……3A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!B:B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytodaywewillhavenot

9、hingtoeattonight!C:C:Iheardthatthemay’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangorobthewedding!A&B:A&B:Goodidea!焦仲卿焦仲卿JohnnyJohnny(驚訝):WhatWhatLunchisgoingtogetmarriedIt’simpossible!AB&CAB&C:WhyAprettygirlarichmanwh

10、atagoodcouple!焦仲卿焦仲卿JohnnyJohnny:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivcedyet!(突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobtheweddingdon’tyouI’llgowithyou.YoutakethemoneyItakethebride.B:Haveyougotanyexperience焦仲卿焦仲卿JohnnyJohnny:No.Bu

11、tI’vegotthis!(J脫下鞋子從里面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)Act5(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到了婚禮之期太守之子意氣風(fēng)發(fā)用紅綢牽著新娘上，劉蘭芝劉蘭芝LuchLuch蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿地被拉上臺(tái))(焦仲卿Johnny和三強(qiáng)盜躍至臺(tái)中)ABC&ABC&焦仲卿焦仲卿JohnnyJohnny:Heyyou!Stoplistentous!A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!B:Iplantedonetree.C:Ifyouwant

12、togobythisstreet焦仲卿焦仲卿Johnny:Johnny:Giveusallyourmoney!劉蘭芝劉蘭芝(Luch)(Luch)聽到焦仲卿Johnny的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)劉蘭芝劉蘭芝(Luch)(Luch)(驚喜萬分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到焦仲卿Johnny的身邊并躲到了的身后)(太守之子大怒，揮拳向焦仲卿Johnn打來焦仲卿Johnny矮身一躲，太守之子打中了焦仲卿Johnny身后的劉蘭芝(Luch)，劉

13、蘭芝(Luch)暈倒)焦仲卿焦仲卿JohnnyJohnny(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（揮拳向太守之子沖去）(焦仲卿Johnny與太守之子混戰(zhàn)，焦母上，以拐杖擊暈太守之子)(焦仲卿Johnn將太守之子胸前的新郎標(biāo)志扯下戴在自己胸前)焦仲卿焦仲卿JohnnyJohnny(扶起劉蘭芝(Luch)，關(guān)切地問):Honeyhowareyou劉蘭芝劉蘭芝(Luch)(Luch)(哭狀):Ihurtalot!焦仲卿焦仲卿