english jokes

1、笑話TheMeanMansParty吝嗇鬼的聚會吝嗇鬼的聚會Thenotiouscheapskatefinallydecidedtohaveaparty.Explainingtoafriendhowtofindhisapartmenthesaid“Comeuptothefifthfloringthedobellwithyourelbow.Whenthedoopenpushwithyourfoot.““Whyusemyelbowfoot“

2、“Wellgosh“wasthereply“Yourenotcomingemptyhedareyou“一個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了后，再用你的腳把門推開?！薄盀槭裁次乙梦业闹夂湍_呢？”“天哪！”吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會空著手來吧？”那就更糟了那就更糟了MuchWseMuchWsePoliceman:Whydidntyoushoutfhelpwhen

3、youwererobbedofyourwatchMan:IfIhadopenedmymouththeydhavefoundmyfourgoldteeth.Thatwouldbemuchwse.中文：警察：有人搶你的手表時，你為什么不呼救呢？男子：要是我張口的話，他們就會發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。TwoLinesInHeavenEverybodyonearthdiesgoestoheaven.Godcomessays“Iwantthe

4、mentomaketwolines.Onelinefthementhatdominatedtheirwomenonearththeotherlinefthementhatwerewhippedbytheirwomen.AlsoIwantallthewomentogowithStPeter.“Saiddonetherearetwolines.Thelineofthementhatwerewhippedwas100mileslongthel

5、ineofmenthatdominatedwomentherewasonlyoneman.Godgotmadsaid.“Youmenshouldbeashamedofyourselves.“哦，真神奇，”女士說。“你高壽？”“二十六?！盌idYouKnowHimAtadinnerpartyinthehomeoffriendsourhostmentionedhishighschoolalmamater.Oneoftheguestsaske

6、dhimifhehadbeenastudentthereatthesametimeasaparticularviceprincipal.“Isurewas!“answeredthehost.“HesthebiggestjerkIveevermet.Didyouknowhimtoo““Stof“repliedtheguest.“MymothermarriedhimlastSaturday.“你認識他嗎？在朋友家的一次宴會上，主人提起一位高

7、中時的校友。一位客人問他讀書期間，某位副校長是否也在職?！爱斎涣耍敝魅舜鸬?。“他是我見過的最大的混蛋。你也認識他嗎？”“有點認識，”客人回答?！拔覌寢屔现芰藿o了他。”WeatherPredictAfilmcrewwasonlocationdeepinthedesert.OnedayanoldIndianwentuptothedirectsaid“Tomrowrain.“Thenextdayitrained.Aweeklaterthe

8、Indianwentuptothedirectsaid“Tomrowstm.“Thenextdaytherewasahailstm.“ThisIndianisincredible“saidthedirect.HetoldhissecretarytohiretheIndiantopredicttheweather.HoweverafterseveralsuccessfulpredictionstheoldIndiandidntshowup